rusty eyes

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 20:57:53 GMT

life goes easy on me?....most, of the time....

Wed, 11 May 2005 14:43:34 GMT

im sorry, i know im letting you down. but things will work out. i love you.

my life is messed up, i need to get away form my house. i dont care if im in a tent, i need to get the hell away. i dont know what to do.

i miss my friends, i miss carter, i miss old andrew, old nate, although im happy for them, i miss them so much. i miss myself.

"prepare myself for a war, and i dont know what im doing this for.."
-prague (damien rice)

"the nest they made couldnt break you"

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 13:53:46 GMT

"Into this life I’m born
Heaven’s just a scab away
I’d like to see you after just one taste
Sink your teeth into the flesh of midnight
Night forever more, let them see it has begun
The others I’ve become
If you should see the dice, charmed with
It’s snaked choked eyes
You’ll wear the widows weeds
Because they’re just your size"

so todays date(china time is march 23rd) the last night ill be in china, i cant say ill miss it very much. im glad to be able to eat again, and see my love.

...im sorry but The Mars Volta is the best band ever. period. im still amazed by frances the mute, i listen to it insesently.(spelling?).
anyways ive been away for quite some time now, ive come to alot of realizations, all americans no matter how poor are spoiled rotten. americans do not even come close to knowing what poverty is, everyday i see meet people who can eat one fish a day, thats if they catch it, if not they dont have food stamps, most peoples families are poor. the most popular type of living condition, try and guess, no not a house, no not an apartment, nope not even a mobile home, nope not a homeless shelter...
its a lean too, for those who dont know what that is its basically a hut, with maby 3 walls if your lucky and branches over the top, for the middle class a tin roof. an apartment here anywhere even in a shitty part of town is 1000 U.S. dollars per quare meter. and even then the government could take it from you at anytime leaving you no housing. starvation is not uncommon either. people beg me everyday crying, asking for money. children will do anything shine your shoes with spit literally. for one dollar. its changed me. this place, it has opened my eyes. not in a literal sense but in a mental and physical sense. i cant find it in me to complain about things, being clothing, food, whatever the case im lucky. it doesnt matter what the situation is im luckier than someone else. its been a humbling experience to travel here, i went to the great wall, temples all across the country, farmland, mountain villages, ancient cities. and after all of it the prominent feeling is that of admiration, a country that has almost more than a million people per square mile, i find it amazing the things these people can do to stay alive. it is truly amazing, its not a corporate country, at all. its a country still guided by skill, and craft. and that is astonishing, you have to see it to believe it so you wont understand what im talking about in the least, but dont ever complain abotu something. all your brand name clothing that you spend sooo much money and think it gives you an image was most likely made here in china by someone scrapping by, trying to stay alive. the poor are making those colthes on your back, be thankful you can even buy clothing, most people have to make theres. dont complain abotu food, people here will eat anything to stay alive and i do mean anything, lizards, snakes, turtles, insects, stale bread, moldy milk, ive seen it all. You are lucky. be thankful. next time you find yourself bitching abotu something stop and think. just look around. try and comprehend how lucky you are. you wont but maby it will help you understand.

enough said about that... i turn 18 this summer, god knows i cant wait. Plans for future...move out, get away from home, marry katie, find a job, try and be friends with my friends, move out. thats in the next year or so. also id like to smoke a joint, haha. (if you do babe, oh man. i'll get you.-♥katie) OH, also quit my job and burn down harry peter otherwise known as harris teeter, the livign hell amoung mankind. but that wont happen, and i probably wont quit. but id like too.

also i want to see The Mars Volta i dont care how, but i want to see them.
"There was a frail syrup dripping off
His lap danced lapel, punctuated by her
Decrepit prowl she washed down the hatching
Gizzard soft as a mane of needles
His orifice icicles hemorrhaged
By combing her torso to a pile
Perspired the trophy shelves made room for his collapse
She was a mink handjob in sarcophagus heels"

darling, i have missed you now for almost two weeks, you are so amazing,and im not letting go of you for a whole day, and im gonna kiss you a million times too. the past two weeks i havent really been me cause you werent here, and your my other half. the phonebill will be outrageous but it will be worth it, if we can make it through this weve got it made, and we did. i love you forever and ever and always! times infinity to the infinite power. you are an angel darling, im going to marry you, and treat you liek a princess forever. i do :) You are the best! mwah. love you

"When all the worms come
Crawlin out of your head
Telling you
Don’t you be afraid

Blackmailed she fell off every mountain
The ones they tightly wrapped in tape
In her eraser sang the guilty
As it made the best mistakes
Shark kites got tangled in the moleskin
Urgent plea of escape
A mouth to mouth on the chalkboard
Written in fingernail distaste
And with everybody that I find
And with every clamor that they mine
I won’t forget who I’m looking for
Oh mother help me I’m looking for "

one day i will talk to him face to face... no not im not talking about god

biology class/listening to bjork thanks to my love :)

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 15:10:09 GMT

darling, there is nothing in life that id rather have than you, i have to convince myself everyday its not a dream, you are my day, my night, my moon, my starlight...my consistency, my love. your beauty extends higher than mountains we could never scale, your eyes could turn diamonds into water, your skin is softer than the worlds most expensive silk, when i hold you im in euphoric bliss, when i kiss you shakespeare seems like a childrens author....you are my best friend, youve been better than everyfriend ive ever had combined, i absolutly cannot wait to grow up together, well you know what i mean, when i can wake up next to you, and smile, like when you wake me up now, just everyday. and we can have babies, and play with them and have sleep over parties :) you are my everything.....i love you. i still wish there was something stronger, but until i can think of something else to say that will have to do.
Love Blake

"its in our hands, its all here, in our hands....look no further, its in our hands, it always was, in our hands..."

:) now its up to us to see it through
i AM in love, i LOVE katie, i am a lover, who believes in love at 1st sight.......i AM smiling

P.S. Iron and Wine is fashionably amazing

Frances the Mute

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 05:47:08 GMT

He's got fasting black lungs
Made of clothes splintered shardes
They're the kind that will talk
through wheezing of coughs

And I hear him
Every night in very pore
Every time it just makes me want to

Breathe without an answer
Free from all in shame

Must I hide?
Cause I'll never
Never sleep alone

Look at how they flock to him
To an aisle of open sores
He knows that the taste is such
Is such to die for

And I hear him
Every night on every street
The scales that do slither
Deliver me from

Breathe without an answer
Free from all in shame

And I'll hide
Cause I'll never
Never sleep alone

Say that
Say that I'm blood shot for sure
Pay that ride on a ghost
I'm floating on the shore
Floating on the shore

Every night in every pore
The scales that do slither
Deliver me from

Breathe without an answer
Free from all in shame

And I'll hide
Cause I'll never
Never Sleep Alone

Breathe without an answer
Free from all in shame

Let me die
Cause I'll never
Never Sleep Alone
-The Mars Volta

i am so in love...with katie jordan, the mars volta too just not as much :)

in biology, wishing for summer.....

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 15:09:56 GMT

so im in class, biology. nothing special i finished my asignment so i figured why not update.

not much has happened lately, just been spending most all of my time with katie :) i love her to death, and school. occasionaly see jer, or carter, or nate by chance usually, oh sometimes andrew too. there all doing pretty good. i dont know jers stance on the marine syet, if he regrets it or not, i wish he would sign up in a year or so, save some money......or something. but its not my life.

i really want to see bright eyes, really really bad. on the 31st but its gonan be hard. there the parents, the drive, the time, then the drive back. it seems liek so much, for something i wasnt worried abotu not being able to go to a few weeks ago.

-i just would liek to say i hate this kid in my biology class hes such a fag, he walks to be cool, dresses to be cool......but the catch is he's not!
he looks liek a fag....sorry, he walked by and did his im to cool to do my work look. oh well, i hope he gets but raped. anyways
i better go,
Katie Jordan i love you, eternally.

panic maniac attack
playing chess while on fire, with a monk on cocaine
who is to blame, for the love of shame
killing helpless beasts with a .22 caliber
they fall with the mercy of christ
cherish, the fresh

golfing on the moon

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 02:44:02 GMT

4 months, the best of my life. katie i love you immaculetly. forever, until the day i die i will love you! and only you :)

wouldnt it be fun to gold on the moon, me and my darling are gonna go there one day :)

school starts tommorow
"....yay?.....???......." <if you cant tell im not happy about it. i want summer now! AQUI AHORA goodnight, i love katie! shoot the moose free the goose dynomite

photo synthesis

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 07:40:29 GMT

i cant sleep, maby i have a disorder. today was a pretty good day katie and i spent time together got food, grew closer. then i bought a cd. WILCO: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, i dig it.
i read something i shoudlnt have a minute ago, i knew it would make me sad but i kept reading. damn livejournal and its ability to hurt my feelings. well i guess damn the user who wrote the post!

tim's brother makes me want to cry, he is very good at guitar.... tim also makes me want to cry, he is very good at drums....but i still beat him in phooseball everytime :)

ok this is dumb i guess ill try and go to sleep usually my eyes arent shut till around 3 or 3:30 but perhaps i could try.

falling leaves
buzzing bee's
the forest slowly dies
and the king is lacking his ancient suprise
MURDER

the willow weeps

open your eyes

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 05:35:43 GMT

this week has been interesting so far, my best friend has signed up for the marines and will be leaving in less than 2 months max, yesterday was a not good day(for the most part at least), i wont go into details. and i get to spend the night with my love new years(wich i still cant believe my parents are ok with), then were going skiing on sunday. well ill be snowboarding. but. yea im kind of mad at jeremy, alot has changed since a few weeks ago, hes the one who signed up if you didnt catch that.

tim and i write sweet music, i really enjoy playing with him, i feel like im growing musically not just treading water.

scenery, passing
latino, dancing
chilrden, drugs
hippies, hugs
politics, death
car, theft
love, war
robber, store
big city lights that make me cry
small town age-ing, makes me die